my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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