Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
