I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
