So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
