Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize