So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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