Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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