I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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