My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
