So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize