So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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