At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
