p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
