her vagine was all disorganized.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
