I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
