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you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Two words: nipple clamps
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