Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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