my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize