he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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