Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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