I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
