We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
