hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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