In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I need to calm my uterus...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
