all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
