Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
