Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
