i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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