Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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