I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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