Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize