Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
