i think my tv is drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
