its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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