goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
