Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
