No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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