why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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