I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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