I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
