All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
