DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize