did you get engaged???
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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