So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
