A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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