Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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