You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize