I hate all girls vehemently.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
