After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
