I think my vagina is haunted
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
