He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
