How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
