you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
