I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize