if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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