hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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