i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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